Tuesday, August 06, 2013

I haven't made a close personal study of this, but...

How's come all those vampire movies and tv shows don't have any dowdy, homely, awkwardly uncool vampires*?  These are supposed to be centuries- or millennia-old vampires and we're supposed to believe they have a contemporary Southern American accent and don't prefer wearing the attire of a more graceful age-- one which they saw firsthand?  It seems an vampirism and Asperger's would go together like, well, like clubs and baby seals.

*besides Eddie from True Blood.  True Blood skews the whole thing by showing vampires grooming-- Eric is totally camp in hair-dye foils. "Pam's gonna kill me!"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

My guess is that the dowdy, awkward and uncool ones got caught early on in their careers. I mean, outside of a very limited set of clubs and neighborhoods, how many people would be friendly to Nosferatu (the original)? Some of the east European vampires were known for smelling like a rotten corpse, and again, not great for blending in (in most locations. Somewhere there's a great parody about a stinky vampire and Occupy just waiting to be written.)

LittleRed1

Keads said...

Ah, there were several that fit the bill. Evil Ed in Fright Night (1985), and the Confederate Vampire and others in the forgettable movie Once Bitten (again 1985) come to mind.

wolfwalker said...

"How's come all those vampire movies and tv shows don't have any dowdy, homely, awkwardly uncool vampires*?"

Probably because the whole allure of vampirism in said movies and tv shows is based on "be young and beautiful/handsome and cool forever." Who would tune in to watch a dowdy, homely, just plain Everyman or Everygirl sort of vampire?

JohninMd(help?) said...

Or, if the funk factor doesn't apply, camouflage. Unless attending a steampunk convention, strolling about in Victorian garb would tend to draw attention, not a good thing for a predator. But I'll go with Larry Corsica, "the only time a vampire sparkles is when they're on fire."