Monday, April 21, 2008

About 15 years ago I was living in an old industrial building that was converted to loft apartments. One of the neighbors was a sculptor guy who kept pestering me to pose for him without the benefit of apparel.

I may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but I knew what that was about, and politely declined the offer.

I couldn't decide what would be worse - posing nude and having a pass made at me, or posing nude and not having a pass made at me. Whatever. I decided to live with the mystery. Besides, he was about twice my age. Ancient! (though the age he was doesn't sound nearly as old these days)

Sunday I went to an arts market thing, and I commented to a woman about how great the "juicy butts" looked on the women in her paintings. She laughed and agreed, saying she would never bother to paint a rail-thin woman. I said "presumably you already know how to draw a skeleton". She said "exactly". Then she said "you would be my ideal model".

I don't think she was trying to get into my pants. Oh, well, I guess she was, literally, but not, you know, into my pants. This time, I'll take that as a compliment.

Was this an overshare?

17 comments:

lainy said...

No, and if it was I'm here for ya! LOL

Be flattered ;)

Anonymous said...

Naw, take where you can get it, that's my philosophy! (compliments, not butts)

B said...

The studio I pose at has a vast array of body types as far as the models are concerned. As someone who is constantly feeling iffy about my physique, there's nothing as therapeutic as posing for a group of artists who are very much immune to the ideals pressed upon most of us at an early age.
I dare you to try if Phleghmmy-no, I TRIPLE DOG dare you. It could change your life.
P.S.:Oversharing? I think that ship sailed a long time ago-for all of us.

g bro said...

Well at least they have a vocation that they can work into a pick-up line. I'd be like, "La P, if you take your clothes off, it would inspire me to ... test some oil? .... do some calculations? ... write a report?" Well, what are my chances?

phlegmfatale said...

lainy - hey, I'll take it.

kvegas911 - Indeed.

b - It's funny that you feel iffy about your physique, because your body is stunning. Wow, change my life? I could use some of that.

g bro - I would at least give you points for wit, even if you didn't get to see me naked.

Christina LMT said...

I like the way this artist thinks!

Overshare, no way! I would definitely say this was a compliment, and I wish someone would say something like that to me. Instead of, "You'd be so pretty...IF YOU LOST WEIGHT." Seriously, someone said that to me a few years ago.

Now THAT was oversharing, in case you were wondering!

phlegmfatale said...

christina - that's a crappy thing for people to say. Is that sposta inspire someone to lose weight, or something? Come to that, if you are goingt to spend maybe 2 minutes of your entire life talking to someone, why should you spend years of your life in a gym in hopes of gaining their approval for your outward appearance?

What of your character? Are you kind to people? Are you honest? Looks are a crap-shoot, and some people look really pretty through no merit of their own. It is morally bankrupt to wholly value people based on the happy accident of "good" genes.

But yeah, I'm with you- I like the way this artist thinks, too.

Buck said...

Overshare? Not at all. Under-share, most likely... coz: no pics! ;-)

And how 'bout them Stars, eh?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Isn't that why we blog? Seriously, I would take that as a compliment on your health and vitality.

HollyB said...

Absolutely...and beauty is a totally subjective assessment. I find Angie Jolie's lips repulsive. I think Gerard Butler and Clive Owen are sexier than Brad Pitt and George Clooney could ever aspire to be.
Women with curves are more appealing to artists and to men, I would think.
But that's just me. I certtainly find them more visually attractive.

Hammer said...

lol These days I would be wary of anyone soliciting nude models.

Juicy butts? The mental images that one creates are interesting.

g bro said...

"I would at least give you points for wit, even if you didn't get to see me naked."

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that!

DirtCrashr said...

It seemed like all of ze-models in the life-drawing classes I've had were Rubenesque in type - perhaps because those women had less fear and self-absorption, and more daring than the skinny ones, except for the occasional guy who showed-up to show-off - big deal I could do without that.
Skeletons have a lot of difficult contours, curves and shadows, and sinews and purple spots that look like bruising - not terribly attractive really, and skeletal models with their weird body shapes - short and underdeveloped torsos and legs that begin too high-up and go on for much too long like a bony mesomorphic racehorse - Just. Not. Attractive.
Egon Schiele did them and enuf said, it's as though he looked into the future and saw Mauthausen down the road...

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Fat bottomed girls rock! This is a fer sure thing (Let that tune run through your head for a while now).

Zelda said...

Oh I am so there on the Clive Owen/Gerard Butler comment.

But I think most body types are just fine. Except for the grossly obese or emaciated. A little pudge here and there makes for a more sensual experience, imho, and if it doesn't, well you can always close your eyes.

Christina LMT said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the gal who said that to me added, "Then you could get a man." This was right after my divorce.

Lin said...

I was almost (not really) insulted once that a mutual acquaintance had asked a friend of mine to do some photo modeling for him au naturel (he was a hack carpenter in real life).
Then one day I stopped by his place unannounced and soon had to use his facilities. When I saw the stack of magazines beside the can announcing such things as "Giant Milk Maid Issue!!!" and some disturbing mammary fetishes, the big 'doh!' light come on. Eeeek!