Tuesday, January 08, 2008


Dear Elvis,
Even though I'm horrified that I may be exhibiting signs of appendicitis* and even though most people remember the anniversary of your death -- I remember your birthday, Elvis. Oh, my goodness! I'm older than you were when you died. How'd that happen?

Maybe you'll make appearances at select k-Marts and on toasted tortillas and tree stumps around the country. Maybe you'll be in the shadows of Graceland and even dancing on your grave. I don't know what your plans are, but me? I'm gonna slap on Elvis shades (Model LS 3561) if I'm not in the hospital, and maybe even then.

Whoops, gotta puke again. See ya' around the sandbox.
Thank you, Elvis. Thank you very much,

Lurve, Phlegmmy

*Okay, at the time I wrote that, I was horrified that I might be having appendicitis, but I have since decided this is merely a garden-variety case of food poisoning. Yays. Maybe that's just as good a way to commemorate the King as any other... uh uh huh!

14 comments:

Hammer said...

I was 7 when Elvis died and it seemed the world stopped turning for a few minutes until the news sunk in.

pdb said...

My favorite dramatic representation of The King is unquestionably Bruce Campbell in Bubba Ho Tep. An outstanding movie from start to finish.

Christina LMT said...

That's the only time I remember my Mom full-out crying, when Elvis died.

Take care of yourself, drink lots and lots of fluids (hopefully you'll be able to keep them down).

lainy said...

I was a mess when Elvis dies. I cried and at 12 was heartbroken.

Hope you get to feeling better.

DBA Dude said...

Name and shame them Phlegmmy, who were the varmints who gave our gal food poisoning?

Hope you get over it quickly.

Who is..... Carteach0? said...

As a kid... staying up late to watch 'the Elvis movie', no matter which one it was...

I still isten to the Elvis channel on Sirius radio.... I'll admit that....

Myron said...

Take care of yourself kiddo. If you've been praying to the Porcelain Goddess, be sure to follow christina's advice. Don't want you dehydrating.

As for Elvis, he was never one of my favorites. I actually laughed in the wrong places in his first movie Love Me Tender.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Was in Memphis airport recently and checked out the jump suit they had on display there. Turnd out he was a short little scudder. Lots of cool packed in that little frame. I was in high school when he crapped himself into a heart attack. Sad way to go. Hope your issues turn out to be minor.

Buck Pennington said...

Hope you're better today, Phlegmmy. Food poisoning ain't nuthin' to take lightly.

My Best Man (the second time around) was from Tennessee, and we were roomies when Elvis died. Believe me, it was like the JFK assassination around our house for a solid week. I never thought I'd have to console...in EVERY sense of the word... a grown man because of the death of a pop star. But Elvis was a LOT more than that to some folks. Still is...obviously.

schnoobie said...

I can still remember , vividly ( I was about 12, also ) my neighbors Mom having a full-on breakdown in front of her house in her parked car. Head on the steering wheel , sobbing uncontrollably. I personally still have a ton of Andy Gibb memorabilia including the People magazine which featured an article on his death.( I know not even close to the same league
of dead celebrities images on potato chips....) Get better Phlemmy!!! don't forget to replace your electrolytes...

Breda said...

you okay, phlegmmy? remember the ginger ale.

Who is..... Carteach0? said...

I know it tastes awful, but warm flat coke, sipped, can help a lot.
When nothing else will stay down...

Wish we could help....

Lin said...

Oh Phlegmmy, do get well soon! I'd rather drop a motor on my toe than go through that misery, any time.

DirtCrashr said...

I kinda totally missed the Elviswagon and had to rediscover him later - the overseas thing I guess...
This time of year with all the farting shoppers out in force, the snotty coughing kids and the busy unwashed dishwashers...hope you feel better.