Recently I was talking to my mom about dogs. I said I'm baffled by people who "kiss" their dogs, because as much as we want to think they are humans, they don't understand the function of a kiss in the way we do: more likely they are just taking the opportunity to lick something that smells interesting to them. I do think they have affection for us, but I don't think it's quite the same for them as it is for us.
Mom, who doesn't believe in indoor pets, agreed heartily with me. As an afterthought she added, "if you licked their behinds, they'd understand that."
I laughed out loud and said "I'm so blogging that." She chuckled and said "alright."
Now that I think about it, what struck me as so off-kilter about her statement at that moment is that I almost thought she was going to say something about how disgusting it was to let an animal lick your mouth as it might have just been licking its own rear end. Anyway. It was better the way she said it.
Tra la la.
18 comments:
"[Dogs] don't understand the function of a kiss in the way we do: more likely they are just taking the opportunity to lick something that smells interesting to them"
I just love that (very true) perspective.
Laughing...
(found you via artifacts)
tangerine - I'm glad you enjoyed that - I've laughed about a hundred times over that in the past few days. Welcome! I love Artifacts, too - Jacquie is a clever gal!
Touche , Phlegmmy's mom!
And of course now I find myself looking at my cat and wondering if I will ever be tempted to lick her bum.
Hay, my pets and I are consenting adults, and what we do in the privacy of our own home... Don't be a hater.
what does that say about me? That I kiss my Scooter on the mouth .. that YOU will never kiss me again?
I read mom your ANWR piece out loud the other day, and we both agreed that you should be writing professionally (we say that all the time, u know that)
also, mom wore HER NECKlace to a party the other day, and EVERYONE complimented it ... we should have had a few in our purse to sell on the spot ;) Love YOu. did you read about our friend Mohan dying in some freak Polar bear swim accident the other day. It has totally taken the wind out of my sails ... he was 32!
talk to you soon
xoxoxo K
My dog is a licking machine. He will lick until you think his tongue is going to fall off. One time I poured habanero sauce on my feet to try to dissuade him. I just ended up burning the crap out of myself.
I think dog licks are a caring gesture. they are cleaning and grooming you as one of the pack.
Oh contraire, mon frer.
Maybe all of your dogs have been stupid. My brilliant dogs know exactly what the affection of kisses are. That's exactly why I kiss them both on the cheek every single day. Sometimes they are able to get a lick in, but that's mostly discouraged.
In the wild, dogs or wolves left behind during the hunt greet those returning with a mouth lick in order to ask for reguratated food from the kill. Next time, throw something up on the carpet and they'll really love ya!
barbara - I'm betting you'll never be tempted to express yourself thusly to your cat
fathairybastard - fair enough! I'm not a hater, I'm just sayin'...
kim - you know, I wish I lived close enough to you to kiss you every day! Mostly I'm saying this in good fun - my mom is way more grossed out by the animal thing than me, and, obviously, I sleep better with my little doglet with me under the covers. Also, mushy has now schooled me on the dog licking thing.
I'm glad you think my writing is that good - it's a tremendous compliment!
I'm so sorry about your friend, Mohan - what rotten misfortune - and so young. Freak accidents WILL take the wind out of your sails - after all the care we take in our lives to be safe and out of harms way, the icy finger of death can snag one from the most benign, random places imaginable. Sympathy to you and to his family.
Hammer - my dog LOVEs to lick feet, and I don't mind having my feet licked, so I let her. The very idea of this sends me mum into paroxysms, and still, I let her lick me. I guess I'm happy to be one of the pack, in that case, so long as I'm Alpha.
tony - OK. :)
g bro - see - now I've been schooled on dog-lick/groom ritual, so it's fine for you to get kissies from the mini dachsie. There's a pair of dachsunds belonging to one of the residents, and she just has to say my name and they will come barreling over to the office where I keep treats for them - they are some of the smartest dogs I've ever seen. Scary smart.
mushy - *L* OK, I'll keep some fresh partially-digested food stored in my craw for just those occasions.
THANKS FOR THE SCHOOLING ON DOG MOUTH-LICKING/GROOMING PEDAGOGY, Y'ALL!!! I'm not going to let her lick my mouth, but maybe when I Have one with better breath, we'll do the kissy thing...
It's also a sign of submission. the 'lower' dogs in the pack show their respect to the Alphas by licking their faces like a pup does when begging for food.
I let my dog lick my hand, and the side of my face. Occasionally she will sneak one in on my mouth, yuck.
I kiss the top of her head. Just like kissing my two-legged children's foreheads!
I give my dog a hug every day. She understands THAT.
And here I thought you love Doglet so much you'd lick her cute little bottom! You're a complicated woman, Phlegmny!
I believe you may be your mother's daughter.
That was so...perfectly dead on.
hollyb - that makes sense. Boy, I've learned a lot about dogs today. For 15 years, my dog has probably thought I was chilly and aloof, not playing her reindeer games.
lightning bug's butt - Mine KNOWS I want her near me
meg - oh my word - your comment nearly made me PIP - You're not so simple yourself! :)
lj - Glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, she's a clever one, my mom.
Felix will lick my legs when I'm in shorts and let him out of the crate in the morning. He licks Mrs Myron's arm while he lays in her lap. He's never gone for the mouth. Ginger never licks. And as I posted a few months ago about Oscar, he would get up in my lap and lick my neck. And it's been a year and a half and I still miss him.
As for mouth licking, we were watching America's Funniest Videos last week and they had some nuts letting dogs lick them in the mouth. One broad had a little pointy nose something and it put it's whole muzzle in her mouth. Would of been funny if her jaw had locked open like that Lady of the Evening on ER last night. That must have been one hugh willie.
I once had a golden lab, who had chronic ear infections. I used to take him to visit this rotweiller friend of his so they could play, and the other dog was constantly licking his infected ears. I read once that dog saliva has antibacterial effects, and they use it on wounds and such, and apparently on each other. Maybe them licking us is that their powerful noses are able to smell the god awful stink he humans emit and are trying to help us. Think about it, they lick faces, crotches, hands, and feet-all places where humans have the most bacteria buildup...
Now that's a damn good point.
I can't bear to have my dogs lick me other than a little bloop bloop. On my mouth? No freaking way!
When I was about 12 I had a best friend whose mom was a yoga teacher. She'd definitely be called a MILF today. LOL This was before everybody knew about UV rays and stuff.
We'd come over to my friend's house after school, and her mom would be sunning herself in a bikini on the back deck. She'd cover herself in pure almond cooking oil and bake in the sun.
And always there would be her 6 (yes 6!) dogs licking her all over---her feet, legs, arms and belly. Lick lick lick.
Skeeved me out so much that I've got a permanant complex! eek
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