What mortal fool dares to awaken the slumbering she-beast?
So, I've not been getting proper sleep lately, and circumstances caused me to get about 4 hours on Friday night and then about 6 on Saturday, and I've been completely wiped out, so I was going to sleep in today.
I was dreaming that I was overseeing the operation of a large warehouse thingie and there was a big kitchen attached and I had a little Nemo fishy in a wine glass but somehow I cut off his tail and he didn't make it, for some reason. And I went to help with the dishes but they were just finishing up (timing, my dears) and so I was in some big mall and I went into a store with tile for kitchens, but the only tile they had was transparent glass with different textures that was lit from underneath and it had a nacreous sort of finish and I was just about to choose--
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Clock says 10:49. Shit.
WTF??? So much for sleeping until I awaken naturally, for a change.
I hopped out of bed - this is probably someone coming to rob the place, better at least have a look at the sorry sumbitch.
I grabbed a robe, and threw it over my pajama pants and teeny little top thingie. My hair is trained on about 40 distant nebulae, eyes puffy and eye-boogery, prolly. Hmmm, out the side window - tall, natty investment banker guy, very dapper. I guess I'll open the damned door.
At this point, I had two choices: open the door with one hand whilst modestly holding the robe shut - but I risk the dog running out, or I could hold the dog in one arm while opening with the other hand. I chose b, and the robe sprang open (what? Robes come with belts? Huh.) along with the door, and he was treated to my celestial fruitcup of cleavage. He leaned slightly toward me, and I braced for the impact of him falling in, but he maintained his balance.
He: Hi Rita. I'm sorry for disturbing you. Here is my card. I'll come back another time.
I think he was thrown off his game. Brian R Bogard, AAMS didn't introduce himself to my bodacious tatas. Thank you Edward Jones, for caring about my investment opportunities, but if I don't get enough sleep soon, I'll be managing my investments in a maximum security cell from the comfort of the Gatesville unit of the Texas prison hospitality department.