Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Remember my treehouse lights?




Squirrels have chewed through the wires. This is war. Me and my little Dead Squirrel Whisperer* may not stem the onslaught of your kind entirely, but we will be a pox on your houses. Srsly.








I'm thinking of taking up squirrel taxidermy.





Yup. I just might do it. Me an my bitch will rain fiery squirrelly death in my yard. You think I'm kidding. I jihad you! Frelling squirrels!

There's going to be plenty of your little carcasses around. I have most of a brick of Super Colibri left, and another brick where that came from. I'll get you, my pretties, with my little dog, too!


*Praline

3 comments:

Jon said...

A rat trap will work. Use a wood screw to mount it to a branch higher than Praline can climb and bait it with a pecan. Besides taking care of your problem, it works when you're not around.

Anonymous said...

Fried squirrel is pretty good.

ben

minimedic said...

Have you enlisted the help of Himself for your squirrell jihad?