Monday, June 07, 2010
Gutted.
Farting around as one does at the dreg-ends of the weekend, I looked up videos by Boston, particularly Don't Look Back and More Than A Feeling. I know I'm not special in that music is deeply woven into the fabric of my life, but there are a few bits of music that for various reasons I identify with so strongly that I can't in my mind and memory consider a period of my life without thinking of that music, and vice-versa.

My older brother was really into Boston, and by extension, I heard the first two albums quite a bit, but Don't Look Back I strongly associate with the last year living in Arkansas and then the move to Texas and the opening of a whole new vista in terms of the positive possibilities of life. This was a very Good Thing.

When Dad and Mom gave me my first car in 1984-- a bitchin' 1974 Camaro-- Don't Look Back and Rush's Moving Pictures [driving fast to Red Barchetta is the best when you've got a bored-out .350 (thanks, Dad!) and gasoline was .63 a gallon *nostalgia moment*] were my concessions to Rock which rounded out my edgier not-found-on-radio imports I scraped out of the bins at VVV and Metamorphosis record stores in Dallas.

I loved Boston, and still do. I love the melodic guitar-heavy compositions and the soaring, beautiful vocals of Brad Delp.

So I have to say that when I went to the wikipedia entry Sunday evening and found out that Brad Delp committed suicide a little over 3 years ago, well, I was gutted. I'm sad someone would feel so hopeless, someone with such a great and unique capacity to give joy. Being a singer, too, I know that you don't always feel like making music. It's hard for singers to put it out there all the time, because they're not just pushing air through a horn or pushing keys or strings-- their body is the instrument. Maybe he needed a tune-up or something, but the thought of his despair makes me want to say something preachy.

All I know is that if you are sad all the time, there is something you need to fix in your life.

There are medications. Maybe you need to get a hobby, fer fecks' sake.

You have to give your own life purpose-- no one can do that for you-- and if you sit around feeling like a sadsack and blaming everyone around you for your misery, well, it's your own fault. You are your own responsibility. Yes, it's a lonely road, sometimes, but we each have to make our way in life. So, you screwed up in the past? Move on and stop screwing up. And if you have a chance to be kind or helpful to people who love you, then do so and do so in good cheer. Don't scuttle your chances at happiness by thinking the world owes you a favor or a plush, luxuriant existence. Get on with life, do the best you can, try not to be an asshole, stay busy and get medicated if necessary. That is all.





Whatever road Brad is on, I hope the sun is shining.
Written by phlegmfatale
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Name: Phlegmfatale
Location: Elsewhere, Texas, USA

I'm not whining;
I'm unburdening.
FATALE ABSTRACTION


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