Wednesday, August 20, 2008

TRUE GOSSIP about someone you've never thought or even heard about.

My Cousin(MC) was married to a guy about twice her age who used to be in charge of security detail for one certain veep when he shilled for McHitlerburton. Now, this guy MC married was what we mere mortals would call rather well-to-do. If you're one of them folk whose house has spent any of its existence being ferried about on wheels, you'd call him rich.

Anyhoo, MC was forever plagued by the contradictions of living in fancy digs, driving luxury vehicles yet being hounded by Rich Guy(RG) over petty trifles which he deemed wanton excesses. Clearly, RG thought MC was just too extravagant and harangued her constantly about her general lack of thrift. The favorite story, now part of the family lore, is that RG was sent into a purple-faced rage about the rate at which MC went through toilet paper. MC said nothing in her defense, but-- in the passive-aggressive tradition-- would thereafter always make a production of spinning the terlit paper backward on its roll, making it SOUND from outside the bathroom like she was un-spooling miles of the stuff. Apparenly, RG fell for it and was utterly inflamed by her antics.

MC and RG are no longer married, btw.


Christina LMT said...

MC and RG are no longer married, btw.

Why am I not surprised?

What a horrible way to live. I wonder what makes some people like that? You can't take it with you, after all!

Hammer said...

My sister in law was married to a creep like that. If he saw a coke can on the kitchen counter when he stumbled in at 3am all the lights would go on..and the whole family would be screamed at until the culprit came forward.

kvegas911 said...

LOL....good for her!

phlegmfatale said...

christina - Yeah, I wonder about that, too. Frankly, I'd rather have unlimited access to toilet paper than a luxury car!

hammer - SHeesh - what a heel! It's a marvel people like that are ever on good behaviour long enough to get down the aisle with someone.

kvegas - damn skippy!

Brigid said...

I love being single. I can spend my money any way I please, and no one counts either the toilet paper rolls or the remaining Dark Chocolate Bars.

Becky said...

I hope she got some alimony!

My Ex would honestly be a jackass like that, not that we were rich, but nitpick about the stupidest shit. My favorite was how I loaded glasses in the dishwasher or wrapped up leftovers. You would've thought I ripped off his fingernail with pliers.

Rabbit said...

strawberry ice cream....

I'd hope she lived in a community property state with alimony. Ideally, Gloria Allred was her divorce attorney.


phlegmfatale said...

brigid - No criticism. That's a nice thing to find at home, imho.

becky - I'm guessing she came out alright in the end, but I don't know the particulars. OMG - I can't believe someone did that to you. Jerk. Amazing how sensitive and fragile some monstrous folk can be, eh?

rabbit - I think she's not hurting, anyhoo. And she got away.

SpeakerTweaker said...

That brand of snark must run rampant in your family!

Sad story, yes, but I cannot stop giggling about the idea of RG going stark-raving mad while MC is rolling the toilet paper backwards.

It's a full-on visual in my head now. And it's a funny one;)