Tuesday, August 05, 2008

A woman came in for an apartment last year. Her locator called me first to see if I had something available immediately which had not been painted or cleaned, as the client was highly allergic. Well, yeah, it just so happened I did. So this woman (I'll call her AB, short for allergic bitch) comes in and bounces and giggles that she's found the perfect place and yes, it absolutely will do, will be the one and only perfect place for her on the planet forever and ever hey men.

She submitted an application, I vetted her credentials and approved her, and she came in to sign the lease, effective immediately. I asked her to consider simply doing a 30 day trial lease, the end of which she might renew for a full 12 month lease at the same low rate, but that way she could be sure. No, no, no, this was right, she just knew it and against my instincts, she signed a full year lease.

So, that night, it turned unbelieveably cold. The next morning, my voice mail had a message from AB sounding like death warmed over saying she had a turble turble reaction to something in the HVAC system.

Goody goody gumdrops.

I was secretly SOOOO pleased she didn't stay. I KNEW she would be a difficult resident even under the best circumstances, so I let her out of her lease, charged her rent for the time the apartment was off the market, and sent her refund check within 30 days as per contract.

About 45 days later, she called me, wondering where her check was. Well, we'd mailed it weeks before... Could we cancel that check and re-cut it? I said yes, but we'd charge a fee for stop payment on the check, etc. SHe said "yes, please do" and by the way, when we sent it out, we needed to send it to a different address this time.

So she apparently had moved at least twice in the interim since she'd been at my place. Talk about dodging a bullet. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

No offense to anyone who has deathly allergies or anything, like shellfish or peanuts or whatevs, but people like AB make Mr. Darwin's point for him, IMHO.

Someday Massah gonna set me free.

7 comments:

HollyB said...

What a dreadful life this woman has! She must CREATE drama because her life is so bereft of actual content. Or she creates drama in lieu of dealing with much deeper and more complex problems that would make the Gordian Knot look like a shoestring snag.
As choo sez...good riddance.

Thud said...

As a contractor/evil landlord you have my sympathy...these people are sent to try us...and try us they do.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I sort of wish she had stayed. Just for the joy of reading the stories you would no doubt be writing about her on a regular basis. Opportunity missed!

Hammer said...

I used to have unexplained allergic reactions but honestly there was no way to get away from them so I just learned to deal with it.

That woman sounds like a hypochondriac drama queen.

schnoobie said...

PITA PITA PITA and I aint talkin bout the sangwich!!!!They never fail to amaze and annoy........
whew!! .......cool breeze FOR YOU on that one though!!!!! Serenity? INTACT!!

Kevin said...

I knew a girl like that once - very pale and painfully thin. Allergic to just about EVERYTHING - her diet consisted primarily of green bell peppers!

Becky said...

If she's really moving that often, something doesn't seem quite right to me -- it's got to be more than allergies. Even with a credit check and reference check, I felt like my gut was a stronger indicator of a good tenant when I was doing it in Hawaii.