Fatale Abstraction

I'm in love. Pardon me if I gush a bit. It just took me by surprise, but it was so worth the wait. I mean, I was impressed by all of them, each having special qualities, but at last, I found one which embodied all that I was looking for:


I'm in love with a wonderful gun!


Ages ago in this blog, I told the story about shooting pellets at bloated milk cartons of grandpa's fermented tobacco spittle, and I talked about firing the patriarch's Civil War muzzle loader, and of course there have been sundry bb and pellet guns along the way, but I've really never fired handguns, unless you're counting the video game Area 51, which I'm convinced should qualify me for a girl scout patch, or at least an Alien-Killer Barbie™. "Killing aliens is fun!" (did I read that on Tam's blog at some point?)


Today, the splendid Holly and her Dearly Beloved (henceforth, DB) took me to a cow pasture to try a few handguns on for size. I know you're dying to know so I'll tell you I was wearing my red Wellies, but I do intend to bedazzle them. They felt like they were suctioned on by the time I pulled them off hours later.


Anyhoo, DB started by talking about gun safety, which, of course, can never be overstated. He gave me a lot of information, but in very digestible servings. Although I'm undeniably a n00b at all this stuff, I feel I have a great foundation on which to build. I plan to do a lot of reading.


I started off on .22 pistols. The paper plate in the photo with the .22 shot was the second plate I did. I'd like to say that extra munch taken out at about 1 o'clock was for triangulating the rest of the shots, but, well, whatevs. I shot .22 revolvers, semi-automatics, several .38, a few 9mm, and a couple Kel-Tecs. I have smallish hands, and the waffledy-grips on the Kel-Tecs made my hands feel kind of chewed up. Even so, they were all fun to shoot.


I have to mention the smell. By the time I switched to the .38s, I could definitely smell the powder burning after each shot. I turned and looked at Holly and said "mmmm! Perfume!" It smells really good. Trust me. I have an excellent nose for things.


I now can say I know the desultory pang that comes with the click of an empty chamber. Awwwww! The only times my shots didn't stay in a fairly tight cluster was when I did them in rapid succession, so I don't feel too badly about that. It was hot, and near the end, the sweat was stinging my eyes.


I liked all these pistols, and they all had good qualities. At last, I shot the Colt .45 1911 types Government and Commander models. One shot out of the gubmint model, and I squealed "I have a favorite!" The Commander was a close second, but I prefer everything about the Government model. This was the second paper plate in the photo (that's the one with the big holes).
Honestly, it was like finishing up with dessert. LOVED that gun. DB told me I could continue to shoot some more with any of the guns, but it was very hot, my eyes were stinging, and I felt like ending on a very successful note with all this. I think this was a great first outing and I'm looking forward to improving.


Yeah, to a lot of you, I'm total tadpole class, but I'm really excited and have great plans for improvement. Afterward, DB and Hols allowed me to take them to dinner. I said it's amazing how collected and relaxed I felt after all that. I rather expected to feel like at least one of the guns was impossible to handle, and I never felt that way--never felt like it was getting away from me. Frankly, I think anyone of sound mind would benefit from squeezing off a few rounds at a firing range - this is just good clean fun, and therapeutic beyond all imagining.


As we were leaving the restaurant and saying our goodbyes, Holly called me "Deadeye." I couldn't think of anything to say to that, nothing clever, so I just grinned like a 'possum.

Holly is an excellent cheerleader, giving me good feedback on occasion, but mostly just content to sit back and watch DB tell me how to snatch the pebble from his hand. Thanks for letting me hog all the ammo to myself, both of you. Was that greedy? You are most generous.

I have to add something here. I composed this post just before bed on Monday night, and I was giddy from the whole experience, but I now want to say one more thing which I don't think I emphasized enough. DB is a phenomenal teacher. He's thorough, communicative, calm and assured. He doesn't muddle the process with unnecessary information or tall-tale type baloney. Such a sense of calm focus in a teacher sets the tone for a pupil. Being an excitable person myself, DB was the best type instructor for me. This is precisely the type teacher one should seek out to introduce them to this art, in my opinion. And let me say again that pretty much everyone should try their hand at shooting under the proper circumstances at least once in a lifetime.

I'm looking forward to going to shoot rifles with my Dad sometime soon, ok Dad? Talk about elegance!


Thank you SO much, Holly & DB, for creating this monster. What an incredible experience!