What's funny is when I saw this photo of a guy caught in public in a mankini, it was on a news page, and as I scrolled down to read the page, I saw the top of the hairdo. I thought "aw, shit, another article about Paris Hilton." Quite.
Here's what I think went down with Anna Nicole Smith: She was desperate, out-of-control, strung-out and had to be silenced. She'd been sleeping with Bill Clinton and Al Gore, and when she sang "Happy Birthday Mr. President" at the opening of the presidential library in Little Rock, well, Hillary got her dander up and something had to be done about the bimbo eruption, before she blew Hil's chances for a successful presidential bid in '08. Like Jack Ruby, someone will bite off Howard K. Stern's finger just before he wires money to a desperate stripper in Oklahoma City who will die under mysterious circumstances relatively soon. Howard will die in prison due to an illness unrelated to the severed digit. He will never break his silence about how if he was such a devoted partner to Smith, then hows' the hell he let her boink all those other guys including the impotent spouse of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Ew. The Hard Rock Casino in Florida will open a "Sick Floor" museum which will one day be their chief source of income. Conspiracy theories will abound, but you'll know the truth, and you'll know you read it here first.