Saturday, April 14, 2007

...in which I - 5'2" of hausfrau rage - nurture my inner Charles Bronson.

There's some colossal poopy-stain-of-a-man in the Dallas area who has been invading apartments at night and raping/stabbing/killing the occupants. Apparently he's done this at least a couple dozen times over the last couple years. Last week he ran through a sliding glass door and attacked a woman, leaving her for dead. She's in the hospital now and fighting for her life.

Anyway, I was thinking it's too bad he didn't come into the open garage door of a bead-maker I know. He'd get a molten rod of glass to the eyeball toute-de-suite. And if that didn't do the trick, well, he's got another eye and I (I mean she) would have several more rods of 1500 or so degree glass with which to pick that olive.

Then she'd get mean.

7 comments:

Fathairybastard said...

My sisters first apartment in Dallas, early 80s. She goes in her bedroom one night, which has a sliding glass door, and there's a guy on the outside patio lookin' in at her. He dropps trou and flashes her. She frowns and flipps him off, at which point he drives his fist through the glass and then runs away. Who'd a thought he'd be sensative type? Yet another event that influenced my young mind towards the joys of big city life. Dad and I saw to it that she had a locked sliding door and a big bar down on the rails to make sure. If I'd had a gun then she would have been shown how to use it.

20 years later, mom is almost asleep upstairs in Temple when she starts wondering if she's laid out dads pills for the morning. She starts downstairs and sees two guys outside, just about to break in and rob the place (there's a lot of windows and french doors in the house). She yells at them and they run when they hear her, and the next morning she calls me and tells me she wants one of my guns. I drive over and hand her my 9mm, and later I take her out to show her how to use it. I pitty the fool that tries to take that old lady on in the middle of the night.

Darkmind said...

Well, "Poopy-Stain Man" is certainly no member of the Guild of Calamitous Intent. Even if they were Chapter 9, subsection 51-A of the Guild Honor Code expressly forbids any member from commiting the crime of rape or sexual assault. Failure to abide results in immediate nulification of a villain's Articles of Collusion with the guild, suspension of support funds, loss of access to the minion network, and termination of health and dental benefits...

Mushy said...

You need to be packing...get a carry permit and feel stronger anyway!

Besides, the classes are fun.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I think a couple of molten rods to the eyeballs would be poetic.

Zelda said...

I certainly hope you remain unmolested by this psychopath, but I also hope he loses his eyeballs in just such a fashion.

phlegmfatale said...

fathairybastard - Good for you for supplying the 9mm to yer ma. It seems the predators have a knack for finding the unprepared folk.

darkmind - I'm glad to know there's such a strong honor-code amongst those of the Guild of Calamitous Intent! Funny comment.

mushy - Yeah, packing is ideal, but sometimes one must grab what is at hand

barbara - yes, poetic, and I suspect he'd be easier to subdue thereafter

zelda - Me too, but yeah, that would be a good start on the path to justice. Just a start, though. He should be dealt with by the families of his victims.

HollyB said...

I like your ideer, Molten glass to the eyes! Red Hot pokers. Yeah, you give him a poke! And not the McMurtry kind, either.