Saturday, September 01, 2007
IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!
Someone call Slim Pickens - we've got a big bronc wants bustin'. (Yes, he's hand-less in this version. Deal with it.)
In the years 2029 and 2036, a rugby-ball-shaped 300 meter asteroid passes uncomfortably close to our collective personal space. This has scientists crapping themselves to figger out a way to prevent a possible impact which could kill billions and change life as we know it for a minute or two. Of course, there could be big promotional lead-ins for years where People magazine could show how Barthelona (daughter of Paris Hilton and the kid from The Sixth Sense) would be weathering the nuclear winter in her stylish Banff underground virtually tropical bunker lovepit. The fashion industry would enjoy the upswing of a market-in-crisis mad-dash for the hottest in global cooling gear. Ringside seats for the event will sell at astronomical prices on the orbiting Trump Hotel Casino & Taco Lounge™. In the days before impact, no celebrity crotches would be seen in newspapers and magazines, as the paparazzi will have all gone home to apologize and make peace with their families.
Click here for film
Personally, I think we need to abandon pie-in-the-sky time-wasters such as relying on science and stick to what we know works: we should send Hillary, Obama and Oprah to open a dialogue with the asteroid, see how it's feeling, what it desires, and why it hates us.