Fatale Abstraction

That which does not kill me, tastes great. Or... How Phlegm got her "Oh SHIT!" back.

eeeeeek!
Wednesday's cloudy morning: I let the doglet out into the back yard and noticed green skies to the near west and I thought "this can't be good."

EEEEK!

Ten minutes later I was tooling down Montfort in LouLou, about to turn into the Barnes & Noble parking lot to pick up the latest meisterstrück from Blonde Redhead, which is muy trés delectable, and which I highly recommend.

EEEEK!

Strange movement off to the right caught my eye and I turned my head to see a huge tree branch spinning in a circle as it was pushed effortlessly across a parking lot, all its leaves along for the ride. I turned left into the B&N lot to see a 20 foot cart return carrel come spinning likewise across the parking lot in front of me and off to the right. I looked up to see a huge cloud with obvious rotation. I looked over to the left and saw the teller in a glass drive-through window gape-mouthed and looking for all the world like a SouthPark cut-out. Oh, and it was windier than a bag of buttholes. Windier than a certain loudmouthed, windy person I know, even.

EEEEK!

In that instant I realized I might be in the beginnings of a tornado, and the next minute was spectacular. I looked at the giant swirling cloud for about 5 seconds and panels were peeling off the roof of one nearby building - they looked as light as silver gum wrappers as they whipped up and southward. I weighed my options and knew I had no time to lose, whatever my choice.

EEEEK!

I could drive up onto the curb and up to the door of one of the stores and run in, but if their roofs were being peeled away, wouldn't it be bad to be inside??? Freaky. No good choices. My next thought was to get out of there. Storm moving south, I looked around the parking lot for more flying debris and other vehicles, then I carefully drove to the outlet onto Belt Line Road, heading west. In the space of another 5 seconds, I saw evidence of several transformers blowing nearby, blues and greens splashing into the sky like incandescent bruises. My heart wasn't pounding, but I was in some bizarre state of heightened awareness. I would describe my mindset as terrified/not scared, if you can imagine. What would be, would be.

EEEEK!

One silly thing that flashed through my brainpan was the irony of how I love violent weather-- well, ok, not this violent- -I never agreed to this!

EEEEK!

The weather looked clearer to the west, but I did need to mosey downtown eventually, so at the intersection of Belt Line & the toll road (where the traffic lights were dead - not even flashing red), I decided to go south and just get into work. Our buildings are old, and I happen to have a basement I could get into with no problem should need arise.

EEEEK!

At work sitting in my glass fishbowl office, I was feeling wrong sitting still with that adrenaline/euphoria thing going on - shouldn't I be doing something? I sat at my desk as the full brunt of the storm finally caught up with me. Out the window, I watched disbelieving as a bolt of lightning struck an adjacent enormous landmark, perhaps 300 yards from my very seat. OK, I didn't go to the basement, but I did get against a concrete wall that had an earthen embankment behind it. To say I was jumpy at that moment would be a tremendous understatement.

EEEEK!

As the storm simmered down, so did I, in a way, but you should see the stack of paperwork I ploughed through today, effortlessly, and ready to chew up some more. I was in SUCH a good mood, giddy, even. I remembered a friend in England who told me he'd take his sailboat out into the English Channel, but that sometimes, a sudden storm would whip up too quickly to make it back off the ocean, and it was too risky to be dashed on the rocks near shore, so he'd ride it out. He said it was nerve-wracking until the St. Elmo's Fire would start crackling around him, and then it got downright terrifying. He'd sit there on the boat, forswearing all his indulgences and trying to strike a bargain which involved him seeing his family one more time. Always, he'd made it back home. Then for an extended period thereafter, he could sit through the most stressful interviews and meetings, utterly unflappable, relaxed, wholly unconcerned.

EEEEK!

Anyway, maybe I wasn't in as much danger as it seemed at that moment, but just the same, I'm feeling pretty relaxed, now. Watch this space.