Thursday, November 30, 2006

I went to have my teeth cleaned on Monday, which is always very nice. The exam room features a floor-to-ceiling window and looks out onto the parking area and lots of trees. In a small tree outside the window, they have hung a couple bird feeders and it's always fun to see them. When I went in, I took my camera and snapped a photo for Dallas Diorama. The doctor said I needed to put a bird in the photo as there were none when I snapped it, and I said "yes, I think I'll photoshop a bird into the image, something exotic. Perhaps a macaw." He said that actually, they'd had quite a few small parakeets and other birds that had to be pets (or escapees) come and feed there, and that once he'd seen a very large and obviously very tropical bird chowing down. I said then that decided it: I would photoshop in feral canaries. I said that the pivotal moment in western civilization would be us coming up with the feral canary concept. People will remember where they were when they first heard of feral canaries and will order the memories of their life events by feral-canary-era and pre-feral-canary-era.

See. Aren't you glad you never have to meet me in person?

Oh, I confronted someone today, and they turned out to be the wife of a sports superstar (she didn't tell me - I looked her up online afterward). I'm glad I didn't parse my harangue in the potty language I was longing to set afoot (as her lawyer budget may be slightly higher than my own), but I'm still glad I griped at her - it was the right thing to do. And there's more where that came from.

7 comments:

James said...

You *like* getting your teeth cleaned? Wow. I can honestly say that I've never heard that before, although maybe it's just that I hang out with the wrong class of people. However, we do have all of our teeth, so that's something.

Feral canaries, huh? I like it, and they remind me of the feral parrots that used to be all over San Marcos. But... Are these canaries vicious, or do they just chirp in a feral fashion?

James

tony said...

Which sports superstar might this be? I'd love to see the blog entry on this one! Did my meme by the way...tag me again, and our friendship is over!

Anonymous said...

And it has such a fabulous music to it..
feral canary feralcanary feralcanary.

And no, in answer to your question, I, for one, am not glad I never met you in person.

Meg Nakagawa said...

My dentist cleans my teeth in two goes - he says since I require so much laughing gas, and eventually it leaks and he breathes in some, he gets woozy so he has to stop halfway. I guess that makes me a Class A Wimp.

phlegmfatale said...

james - my favorite part is when she scrapes the bottom of my molars against the gums - it feels like a gum massage. OK. I'm creeping over into serious oddball territory with this one, aren't I? I must qualify this all by saying I've never had a cavity, so I don't have the pain association with the dentist office. Now that I've had braces, I can understand why people dread going to the dentist. Dremel tools should never have to come near one's mouth. Feral Parrots sound like a more serious threat... I guess these canaries just try to remain free birds. I suppose that's what I'd do. Maybe they've developed a taste for people-provided food, though.

tony - I've said all I'm going to say about the sportswife. that's only the second meme I've ever done since starting to blog 4 years ago. Thanks for playing along, anyhow.

lj - it IS musical isn't it? It will surely supplant even "cellar door." I hope it's brought a smile to your face today

meg - oh my goodness - wow - two sessions? I get the feeling you're not joking about that! Well, good for you for hanging in there for the cleaning. And no, you're not a wimp for disliking it - I'm just a weirdo.

Meg Nakagawa said...

Yup - the left half on the 15th. I wished he did the top one day and the bottom another instead of the left and the right halves - it feels so lopsided in between the appointments.

phlegmfatale said...

meg - that would certainly make ME feel out -of-balance! You poor dear!