Monday, September 04, 2006
One of my earliest forays into the world of employment involved a stint checking groceries at Winn-Dixie supermarket.
After closing, the stocker guys would all be busy re-stocking all the shelves, and their night was just beginning as I would tidy up the registers and clean all the front of the store. One more of my duties was to return all non-sold items throughout the store to their appropriate area.
One thing the guys liked to do was make crafty arrangements of fruit to surprise me with when I walked through the produce department, generally involving 2 peaches, some parsley and a banana. They'd be busting a gut trying to not react so they could see my moral outrage. Instead I'd quip something like someone's missing out on a brilliant career in the art world, where they could be drawing, painting or photographing the male genitalia all they liked.
Here's a universal truth I'm certain even Martha Stewart would agree with:
Bananas have no graceful way of fitting into a fruit basket. Leave the bananas out.
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6 comments:
Ah, gotta love the sophomoric antics of the teenage boy...
Someday I'll outgrow it myself.
what's sad is that it's probably the most mature humor they'll ever be capable of. Still, I chuckle when I remember that. I also remember those guys laughing about farting in the giant freezer at the back of the store. They were probably the guys who made Porky's a hit film.
You know, I had no clue before you mentioned the banana thing. Didn't see it. I had to really look at the basket for a few seconds before it materialized. Now, of course, it's all I can see there. Thanks. I guess I just don't see phallic fruit without prompting.
Having said that, on the trip through the Grand Canyon last October, there's a point on the trip when you turn a corner and there, on the side of the canyon, is a massive vagina spread out for your amusement. We all saw it simultaneously, and then the jokes began. "Hey look, there's a huge Gash up there in the rock."
You know, some people never grow out of that stuff. And because of that - I always eat bananas by breaking off a piece at a time. It's less likely to cause people to revert to grade school associating...
But yes. You can leave them out of my fruit baskets.
When it comes to bananas and fruit, I know a lot of gay men who like a big firm hand on their plumbs.
*groan*
Bananas rock!
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