Dude, you are stone-cold killing me. If you insist on maki

At $695, the Miss Fred Tacco Boots with the gold piping, golden spike heel and ribbon laces are almost within reach if I give up feeding the dog and electricity. However, if I'm going to splurge on rather expensive shoes, the patent leather is simply not practical for frequent wear, alas.

Then there is the not inconsiderable matter of the Practique Corta Platform Pumps which make my heart go pitter-pat. Oh, you naughty boy. These shoes are a Mistress Elvira-cum-Minnie Mouse meets Harajuku dream-come-true. $790? Not doable. *sigh*

Finally we must consider my over-fondness for mary-janes which is sent singing by these Mad Mary Suede Mary Janes, and let's see if we can fit one more Mary into this sentence, shall we? Cute doesn't begin to cover it. Amazingly, the black suede is a slightly more forgiving surface than the patent leather so this pair is eminently more practical, but darling! $865 is not even in the ballpark.
Let us review:
- These shoes are glorious
- I can't afford these shoes yet
- You are a mean and nasty man
- Please make uglier shoes that don't make my heart ache