wot? this thing is on?

Amazingly, Blogger has decided to let me do a post tonight.

Or not. 

I'm almost afraid to invest time in composing (or composting) a post because it may be for naught.


*shrug*

What is up with the world right now? I've seen some of the nastiest behaviour, lately.  Damned unpleasant.

This is getting really old.

I've tried several times to log in to blogger recently on both my PCs and on my Mac. Blogger apparently doesn't want me in on the old PC either on IE or on Firefox. Can't get in on the newer PC on IE or on google chrome, and I can't get in on Safari on my Mac. Maybe it's my wireless connection in my house, but this is getting stale. Srsly.

Anyone have any thoughts on what the problem might be?

In other news, to my elation, I made a 74 on my A&P II exam. I feared I might have scored below 50%, so 74 suits me just fine. I had an uncharacteristically high degree of test anxiety that time, and I'm sure I made it all harder than it actually was. OTOH, I have my first big test in Macroeconomics this week, and I'm filled with trepidation. Maybe it'll be okay anyway. Que sera, sera, and all that crap.

In even better news, my Vacay starts Saturday. I booked for 8 days off, but I think I'll go ahead and take the other two and make s full two weeks if it. I'm tired. So tired.


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Sunday, puppy Sunday: pup pile on movie night

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more ethereal adorableness from Grimes

Nightmusic



Grimes is on heavy rotation on my iPod of late.  There are elements of what I loved about early 4AD stable acts like Cocteau Twins and This Mortal Coil.  And then there's my always and forever love of electronica.   This would be great for listening to on a cool (not cold) night driving through the desert with the top down.

Blogiversary. Or not!

I don't normally mention my blogiversary, but it's been 10 years today.  Much in my life has changed, but I still love blogging. :)

I've met a lot of incredible people and made some of the best friends of my life, so I'm really pleased someone on Blogger invited me to play their reindeer games.  :)

*****  woke up and thought wait!  WAS it September 20?  No.  Was September 16.  See?  I normally don't mention it, and I still don't mention it on the date.  Meh.   I think the usual thing would be to have some sort of taking-stock post and all, but I have too many irons in the fire right now and I'm not sure I'm fit to assess where I am, where I've been, where I'm going.  But the sentiment is the same: I'm glad to be a part of the community of bloggists, and I love the tribe of which I'm a member, many of whom are bloggers. 

Here's to more years of the same. :)

The hardest prat.

The waiting?
Nope.

Definitely the multiple choice was the hardest part.  Kind of biting my nails here.  I have no sense of how I did on the test. 

In a world as disappointing as this one can be, I'm just glad that we've liberated lucite heels from the sole domain of the brass pole so girls like me, can, ya know, wear lucite heels.  Makes as much sense as anything else, I suppose.

More later.

Phoning it in and failing.

I've tried to post several times lately from my iPhone, and either iPhone or the blogger app is being persnickety, and my vote is they both are.

The pain has finally eased up from the orthodontics, and for the past few days, I've not had to wax the brackets, so that is a huge improvement.  The tough thing, though, is it's really like I lost a week and my studies have suffered.  Tuesday morning is my first big test in  A&P II and I'm as nervous as can be. I feel I could (and should) feel more prepared.  I'll be glad when this segment of the course is behind me.  Then again, if this stuff were easy, then we'd have people for doctors and nurses who we really wouldn't want involved in our healthcare, right?  Sort of like the gubmint.

But I digress...

Puppy post never got up Sunday despite my efforts, so here is gratuitous photo of sacked-out puppies Monday while mommy worked.  Their lives are so hard.  One feels sorry for them.  Oh, how they suffer!  :)

I love seeing how happy their little lives are.  Chuy just wants to cuddle and be petted. Praline wants a toy overwhich to obsess, and Little Bit just larks about having SO MUCH FUN!  It's good to be a puppy. :)

Fingers crossed on my exam later this morning.  Will try to post an update. 
Cheers.

Bellydancing

I definitely have my own mode of dress, but I apparently can't hide my gypsy soul.   I went to the bellydance thing last month not having been to bellydance class in, oh, a year or two.  The day was humid and my mane was large and poofed up like a cat about to pounce. I wore white top with some white beading and a black skirt, but it was fairly low-key.  I'll own that my sandals were kind of spangly.  I am also not the classical dancer physique, you must know, so I wouldn't expect anyone to look at me and assume I'm a dancer in any context.   I walked into the event and went to the table at the entrance to purchase my ticket and the lady at the table asked me "are you here to perform?"

Seriously?  I quickly looked up and searched her face for tongue-in-cheekery.  Yes,  she was serious. 

Wow.

I have taken the bellydance classes not thinking anyone would want to see me dancing, but entirely for my own diversion.  I've never really considered dancing in public, even.  Doing this is for me like wearing nice underthings-- no one else has to know I do it (which is why I'm blabbing it here, right?), but _I_ know and I can take pleasure in it. 

Anyway, I'm having fun with it and I'm going to keep attending class and enjoying myself, whether anyone knows it or not.  But I may not be able to resist blabbing it here.  And maybe I will be dragged kicking and screaming to perform with the group somewhere.  Or maybe not.

On why I need this surgery

The pain of the last several days has been sobering, and I keep telling myself that in the long run, this is worth it.  Today is the first day I've awakened NOT in major pain, so I'm glad the soreness from the braces and spacers is abating.  Something the lovely gentleman Buck said in my comments Tuesday was something on which I want to elaborate.  He said:


I'm gonna pull (heh) a Clinton and "feel yore pain," Phlegmmy, mainly coz I had five teeth removed (eight if you count the bridge in my lower jaw that went, as well) this past Thursday. The ONLY good (?) part of this experience is the provisioning of superior drugs, which are a mixed blessing, at best.
I'll also preach to the choir: the end result is worth it. I don't have many regrets in life, but one of my biggest is opting OUT of braces about 30 years ago... which bad decision is costing me dearly now. But we shall soon have a mouth full of shiny new implants once the ordeal is over.

In addition to the arthritic joints where my mandible meets my skull, I'm having the surgery ultimately to prevent the loss of my teeth.  My teeth only touch at the back molar on each side.  You don't think about how you chew because 99% of you have teeth that meet all the way around, and you don't even realize the force of your bite is evenly distributed therein.  The front of your teeth most likely meet in a scissor-like fashion and you can cut with your teeth and can cut and chew things like meat with your front and middle teeth, and not just the back.  My only option is to find purchase with misaligned fangs and to sort of tear it and then let my back teeth do whatever they can to grind food.  This means my jaw works in a circular fashion rather than up and down as it should have been, and this is how all the force of my bite comes down on my back teeth, and they are beginning to crack. 

If I can bear the discomfort of braces for now through the spring and go through the beastly month or so after the surgery, then the rest of my life with my teeth will be vastly improved from the pain, procedures and implants or dentures I will certainly experience if I don't go forward now.  Considered against the backdrop of improving my health and not compromising myself financially in later years, this seems the only sensible course. 
That said, I'll be mighty mighty glad to have done with it.  But I'm glad it hurts less.  If this week has been any indication, I don't do well with dental pain.

Dead Can Dance set to the sad, strange vision of Mylene Farmer

Mylene Farmer is a Canadian pop star who can best be likened to the French version of Madonna.  She's tremendously popular in French-speaking countries, but I don't know of any of her work having been in English.   This is her video to a pop song, but the setting of Dead Can Dance's hauting Persephone seems more fitting.


When you think about it, it's not really sporting unless the bull has an equal chance of dining on the Toreador's testicles that night, is it?

I've grown accustomed to your farce.

Other folks have said it better than I can, muddled as I am at the moment.  I expect nothing will come of this, rudderless as we are.  I can't believe anyone with a straight face could possibly consider reelecting a spineless twit.  *angst*

spacing out.

Not a great photo, but hopefully you can get an idea of the 8 spacers on various molars right now. They are the shiny brassy looking wires on either side of the penultimate molar on each side.  These are meant to spread my teeth apart so a metal band can be mounted on the tooth for positioning of the sliced-up mandible bits later on.   The braces are painful much in the way the first set of braces were, but these wires are torture devices.  I understand they are a necessary evil, but they are pure-dee evil. 

Felt a little better today, but not great.  Hopefully, though, I'll feel much better when I wake up in the morning.  In any case, this is not going to turn into a me-whining-about-dental-pain blog.

Have a great Wednesday.

9:30 AM update: 
I slept better last night and was able to sleep late since I have to work at 10:00 AM.  The cough syrup numbed the pain enough for me to go to sleep for most of the night.  The brackets are more pokey than I remember, so I'm going to have to wax some irksome spots before I spend the workday on the phones.  I'll probably make and receive in the range of 100 calls today, so I won't spare the wax horses.  If I recall correctly, last time, I only really had to wax the braces at the beginning and I seem to recall that the skin inside your mouth becomes tougher and more inured to the pokey-outy bits.

Soft foods for me right now.  This is the first time in my life I've been in so much pain that I have almost no appetite-- probably a good thing in a way-- but I don't foresee eating anything but soft stuff for the near future.  Yesterday I had some oatmeal and a couple of meal-in-a-can type things, and a bit of canned chili.  Yes, canned chili. It has come to this.  It actually wasn't bad, though, and it felt nice to eat something with protein.  I predict there's a lot more canned chili in my future. 

I toughed it out and worked through the end of my shift yesterday.  I'm actually proud of myself for this, because I was very tempted to ask the bossman to cut me loose. Still, I had customers to attend and much of that distracted me from the pain.  For the most part, my speech is not greatly impacted, with my S sounds slightly more sibilant being the most pronounced effect.  No one reported difficulty in understanding me.  I also hied my arse in to bellydancing practice, so I got in a little exercise, too, and for a bit I was laughing with the ladies.  It's amazing how therapeutic that can be, isn't it? 
My front teeth are sorest at this point, and that is a huge improvement, because I thought those molars were never going to settle down and stop screaming.  This sucks, but it's for the cause-- please don't think for one minute I'd put myself through anything like this for cosmetic reasons. More on that very soon.  Tonight I'm procuring a WaterPik-- even when they are clean, I feel like there's crap lodged up in there.

To sleep, perchance to hurt less.

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.

The pain level of this braces installation vastly outpaces the cumulative pain of the entire previous braces experience. 

My mouth is not huge and my teeth are a tight fit, so there's little room for extra the orthodontic appliance. I have worn retainers at night religiously since I had my braces off in 2005 or so. The surgeon needs bands with rings on the next to last molar on the top and bottom on each side so that these may be used during surgery for repositioning the sections of my mandible to fit together properly.  The orthodontist had to create space for the bands to go around the teeth, but my teeth are so snug there I can barely fit the dental floss through.  A wire was inserted near the base between two teeth, wrapped up arund the top of the crevice between the two, twisted and tightened then snipped short to create tension to scooch the teeth on either side away from those molars.  The orthodontist said it would not be painful, but that I would feel some pressure and maybe discomfort for a few minutes and then it would ease up.  This has built gradually into a staggering amount of pain, perhaps the worst of my life. (yeah, I know-- I've had it fairly easy!)  Have you ever had something stuck between two teeth -- maybe a popcorn hull or somesuch-- that is unyielding and impossible to extract?  That is what this feels like, times 100.  I've never had a cavity and I clearly owe this to winning the oral enzyme lottery in part, but also because I can't stand to have crap between my teeth so I will floss thoroughly.  I hate to go to sleep with dirty teeth.  So the effect of teeth being prised apart with the wires coupled by the general sensation that my teeth are so dirty that I could grow potatoes on them has made for the sense that my mouth is having a bottom-of-the-birdcage atmosphere which to me is crazy-making.

I was so keyed up on Sunday night I barely slept, and I'm so exhausted.  I thought of drinking something to knock me out, but I feared it would not suffice to dull the pain, so *lightbulb!* I took a swig from the bottle of hydrocodone cough syrup and-- sweet relief-- I am finally drowsy (and numb) enough to hit the sack. 

This is as nothing compared to the horrors of the surgery I'll undergo, and I'll spare you most of the details.  Suffice to say it's grisly (and gristly) and not for the faint of heart.  I'm amazed at the sheer nerve of doctors who figured out to do this and what it would take.  My face will likely be bruised from around my eyes to the base of my neck.  I will be drinking mushy or liquid food for 3 weeks. My mouth won't be wired shut, but a resin bite guard thing will be affixed to the upper plate of my teeth to keep it stable as it mends.   I can't be around the pups for at least 3 weeks so that they don't jump into my face and dislodge the freshly mending bone. 

Surgery is set for December 13, two days after finals.
Crap!  I have a lot to get done, but in the mean time, I would not be broken-hearted if I have less of this pain in the meantime, and that without the aid of cough syrup.  Just the same, I'm mighty pleased to have the cough syrup.

Sorry if I'm a little loopy here, but it's because I'm loopy.  I'll try to get a picture of the spacer for you.  Sorry if the photos of my mouth are an over-share, but since the surgery is going to be a big topic for me for a while, I thought you could use the illustration of how my mandible is malformed. 

I was like: :D

They're here!



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