The price is XXXX, and with a signed lease and one month's deposit, I can hold this apartment for up to 30 days for you.
Really? I have to give a 60 day notice where I live now. Can't you work with me on that?
That means I have it sitting empty and getting no rent for an additional 30 days. No, I can't be flexible about that. It's our policy only to hold for 30 days.
Aw, come on, now, phlegm, you're breaking my back here. Can't you work with me on that?
[That was the tipping point, by the way. Mama doesn't like you anymore and wants you to live somewhere else.]
saccharine mode: Aw, dude, I wish I could! But it's supply and demand, man! Other apartments are happy if they stay over 90%. Mine rarely dip below 97%. It's not me- it's the marketplace. People want to live here, and I can't have a place sitting empty and rent-free for one person while someone else wants to rent it. Gosh, I'm sorry it won't work for you. I think you would have liked living here.
grrr.
As he was leaving, he gave me his business card. I can tell a lawyer or a doctor when I meet one. Knew this guy was in sales. I wonder how he responds when someone tells him he is breaking their [insert anatomy bit here]?
The funny thing is how often I hear that our community is really special and that our staff are not like the weird sales-bots one meets in other Dallas apartments. Just because I start every encounter as sweetness and light doesn't mean I can't end it as Supreme Goddess Queen OOber Bitch, sonny. Just don't make me go there.
7 comments:
GREAT soundtrack to this post, Phlegmmy! O My Lord, but I would lurve to have the opportunity to "be good to Mama..." The woman defines "hotness" in my book. There are quite a few synonyms (or equivalent definitions), of course, but we don't need to go there.
(Speaking of Queen Latifah, I am.)
Sweetness to Uber Bitch in 0.6 seconds! Impressive.
buck - I agree. You have very good taste.
Hols - Gosh, it's so flattering when you say it that way!
It's impressive b/c that's how long it takes me for that same task. Just another reason you're my little Sistah.
I also dig the Queen!
I don't have enough bitch in me sometimes...
holly - High praise, indeed!
christina - she's so cool. We'll have to work on that, honey!
A good rental community and a great staff really are worth they're weight in gold. Regrettably, most places are not like this.
Can I come live with you??? ;)
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