Fatale Abstraction

OK, here I am at Kinko's again. My cable internet is not going to be installed until NEXT Monday, so this may be the lay of the land until then.

I was reminded yesterday of my favorite joke. I'm really bad at telling jokes because I chase rabbits and prattle on, generally losing my thread, but this has been a favorite since childhood, so I actually can remember the details in the proper order.

A young country preacher is out visiting the shut-ins in his parish when he stops by the home of a little old lady who has gone blind and doesn't get out much. She invites him in and he takes a seat across a little side table from her chair, and she commences to chatter on, starved for company as she is.

Directly, he notices a bowl of plain unsalted peanuts on the table and he takes a few, finds they are delicious, and begins eating them continuously as he occasionally interjects the one-word acknowledgement to indicate he is listening.

After about an hour of this, he says that he's got to be going when he says "oh my goodness! I just realized I ate your whole bowl of peanuts! I'm so sorry!"

The little old lady smiles and sweetly says "well that's ok, honey, anymore since I lost my teeth, I just suck the chocolate off anyhow."

Yes, well, obviously I'm easily entertained. I suppose this is my favorite joke because it's high on the gross-out factor but not obscene. I think it's adorable, actually.

Trajectory into mental illness:
Yesterday I bought Amy Sedaris' new book I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence. I woke in the middle of the night and read some of it. She's on David Letterman rather often, and mom says she reminds her of me, which I'm off-kilter enough to take that as a compliment. I loved Strangers With Candy ( yes, I WILL be buying the DVD when it comes out November 14), but having read the book, I understand why people think she is mentally ill--something I've been accused of more than once. She has an whole other aesthetic sensibility than high-design ever intended. Or, maybe being high has contributed to her design sense. The great thing is she has all her favorite recipes, and it's all photographed in the orange-filtered method of Better Homes & Gardens early 1970s photography in its books on cooking and design - you know what I mean by that , right? (along that same vein is James Lileks' superb Interior Desecrations with pee-your pants text he's added - Priceless!).

So anyway, I went back to sleep and dreamt I was reading Amy's book, and I dreamt there were several references to me in it "phlegmfatale says..." with entertaining tips from moi. I ran out into a busy, crowded street with the book to show people, and then I took a bubble bath. What does it all mean?

Anyway, I've been working like a fiend on some jewelry, and I have a design I really like right now, and I can't wait to show you. Y'all have a great week. I may not make the blog rounds again until I get my cable 'net, so please don't think I've forgotten your blogs just because I'm not commenting for a bit. Cheers, people!