Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The slog, uh, continues.
Well, not so much a slog, really, but I have finished most of the first coat of kilz2 in what will soon be my bedroom. Sometimes it seems like I'm not moving forward very quickly and the whole world smells of Kilz.



Oh, and that ceiling fan/hazard thingie hanging by its wires has to go. I'm standing on a stool for painting the ceiling, which is only 8' high. To think I was lamenting not having a 9' ceiling... Anyway... this is what I've been up to lately. I want things to move forward on the home front so I can have company. I want my sister to come visit and bring her wiener dogs and her kids. It'll be a party. :) And my mom and pop. And Lin. And Christina. And Peter. And Holly and Johnny. And all my friends. One or two at a time, of course. It'll be sweet.



I'm glad I have the hallway finished. That's a good reminder that it's possible to make progress. I recall just a month ago looking at it and thinking I'd never be through. Then again, a house you live in is never really finished, is it? It's just this one had a lot farther to go when I started than one is usually dealing with. I'll be in high SQUEE mode when I have a finished bedroom to show you. Promise not to laugh at my heart-shaped bed with the 70's pimp red velvet tufted headboard, mkay?


Oh, and this is your final shopping day before My Birth Month™. We shall be celebrating all month. Yes, we shall. :) Champers tomorrow night, yes. I think so. Yes. Yes.
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I'll've Mantids.

I suppose along with the coyotes and rattlesnakes, it's to be expected I'd see a lot more mantids around here. I've never seen such a preponderance of walking sticks, though. They are marvelous. This one was about 6 inches long. I hope he noms up a bunch of the fat mosquitos. You should have seen one houseguest on mosquito patrol with my handheld bug-zapper.


Good times.
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Monday, September 28, 2009
Hideousness.



Here's one Worst-Dressed mention I agree with:




MSN fingered this vile gown on its Emmys loser-list. They dubbed this dress "Barack Bottom."




Uh, Quite.


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Sunday, September 27, 2009
And speaking of puppies, this puppy's for the elk hunt this Fall.

Did I mention the elk hunt?

Dad suggested I take this Browning for the elk hunt. Pop got this rifle about 25 years ago, and it's killed a lot of deer. He said he felt plumb sorry for one deer he shot with it. He held his hands apart and said it blew a hole this big in the thing. I reckon at least it was quick.

Poor elk, though. Bad news is on the way.

Oh, and I'll have to show you the $1950 Colt's Elite Python I slobbered over this weekend at Ray's Sporting Goods. *whimper* It were purty.
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Sunday, Puppy Sunday: That Darn Dane...
I laughed and laughed at this scene from the 60's Disney film "The Ugly Dachshund."

Notice how they set up the wienerdogs to look evil. How could they be naughty with all those warm, fuzzy wrinkles?


Overnight Friday and Saturday in Dallas. Lots of mean, nasty traffic and I'm missing my Furnacle™* and my Chiweenie. It's a terrible thing to be away from one's dogs. Home again Sunday afternoon. :)

See the original trailer here.

*™: fur barnacle.
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Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thus was dentistry born...

Thursday night I pulled the right front tooth on this boy:

He bore up manfully. His folks mentioned he had a tooth wot needed to come out, and I'm sure the wheels were greased by my offer of $5 if he'd let me pull it. He said "for $100, I'll let you pull my head off!" What a cutie! Nah. I'd rather pull the little teeth $5 at a time. Plus, he's nice to have around. I scrubbed up, sheathed the tooth in a piece of saran wrap, and a good little tug liberated the tooth from its fleshy prison. Fly free, little toothie!





Friday night I pulled this one:

This one was being pushed aside by the permanent tooth coming in behind, and this one was barely hanging on. He has another loose one, and he's a pretty tough guy... Today we may make a three-fer of it.



What's funny to me is kids who'll leave the tooth flapping in the hangar for weeks, loose. I liked pulling my baby teeth. When one went wobbly, by golly, it was coming out. I've pulled teeth for lots of little kids, and I haven't always had to bribe them to let me do it. One squeamish friend would always ask me to "take care" of her daughter's loose tooth- they both were grossed out by it. What can I say? I'm a giver.

What baffles me is that most of these teeth come out with no effort-- I don't know how they managed to keep them in so long. Both these baby teeth came out clean as a whistle and with barely any foundation remaining to hold the tooth in. My teeth came out with their little shanks fully intact, blobby little chunks of flesh still holding on around the edges. I suppose that flesh figured it would stick with the winner. They figured wrong. Anyhoo, the teeth were coming out.

Heh.
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Thursday, September 24, 2009
The New Bull

I went with my parents to see Jerry Clower when I was a little kid. He was hilarious.

In the bathrooms at Sweetie-Pie's Ribeyes in Decatur, they play Jerry Clower stories all the time. When I met Holly there a couple weeks ago, this story was playing and I had to stay long enough to hear the end.
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The news that was: Busload of Crazies to Tour Homes of AIG Executives
From New York Magazine from back in, oh, about the first 100 days of someone's rule.

Turned out ACORN was the little shit-stirrer wot organized the busload of crazies.

Quelle surprise!

Mebbe someone should organize bus tours of conservatives to drive by ACORN locations?

Sauce for the goose...

Oh, here it is:
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
oddly oriented...
Went to the Big Asian Buffet in town for lunch on Tuesday.


I enjoyed a bit of sushi, though I picked around for pieces containing cooked fish. I adore sushi, but I tend to keep to high-volume places that make sushi or sashimi fresh rather than having it sitting on a buffet. This was a little taste of the good stuff, though. Would have loved some unagi or a marinated salmon spicy pressed sushi. Om nom nom.


I was tickled to find some of the most delectable duck I've had in the Cantonese style, but they marked it "Thailand Chicken."


Hmph.


Wow. I suppose that means calling a duck a duck is a hard sell around these parts? Considering the high ratio of hunters here, this surprises me. Then again, most who've tried duck have prolly had a sad representation of how delectable that bird can be. Pity, that. [If you live near a First Chinese Barbecue in the Austin or Dallas areas, be sure to go there. Get the crispy pork, too. Oh, and imho, the Richardson location is best, though the Plano Coit location will do, also.] Hmm. Now I'm feeling wistful for dim sum. Best stop now. Must get to DFW sometime this Fall for a proper dim sum feed. Om nom nom.
My fortune cookie promised an investment was soon to bear fruit. Hmm. To what investment could they possibly have referred? Shoulda bought a lottery ticket, perhaps?


Was a nice, yummy meal, though. Then when leaving I saw a Chinese year calendar. I never knew we were in the year of the Ox. This one looks a bit girly, but I couldn't help noticing the big swinging cod out front and center of the prognosticular, um, theatre.
Anyhoo, it made me giggle.
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Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Progress Report...

This hallway has been transformed-- trust me on that one. The hardwood floor in this house is a rich, warm color and is actually in quite nice condition.


The blue room at the end of the hallway is the room I emptied out this weekend. (Not where the spider was, though.) Monday night I scrubbed baseboards and made a first-stab at cleaning the floor. I got a little of my cut-in work done with the Kilz2, but not much. I worked so hard this weekend that I'm feeling a little wiped-out. Plus that 30 year old blue paint is going to prolly take 2 coats of Kilz to properly cover.


Speaking of the spider, I am wondering if it didn't come in on one of the cardboard boxes I bought that day at the local do-it-yo'sef store. What do you think? There are no big cobwebs or egg sacs that I've seen, so I'm hoping it was just an interloper. Have done a bit of reading and know a bomb is not the way to go. Am checking into a proper extermination. Not a bad idea, anyway, since I live by pasture and lots of creepy-crawlies will be trying to find a way indoors as the chill sets in...


More later...
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Monday, September 21, 2009
Along came a spider...



The weekend was most productively spent.




I got another bedroom cleared away and now it's ready for cleaning and painting. Within the week, I may possibly be moved into my new bedroom. Meantime, I'll be putting an extra shelf in the closet, cleaning and conditioning the very nice hardwood floor, layering all walls and ceiling in Kilz2, and then painting same. Then there will be new mini blinds. It's going to be very nice. I'll post some photos this weekend. :)

What is it about fresh paint that bugs--particularly moths-- find so irresistible? I feel sorry for the little fellows, even though they are pesky. Now the mosquitoes, well, I just laugh at them. Haw! Haw! Haw! Now I know vengeance.




As I was shifting boxes about, I saw this very pretty spider. With leg span and all, it was about 3/4". I generally love spiders and am loath to kill same, but this one was in the house, of indeterminate species (to me) and I decided to err on the side of caution. After the flash went off, it started booking it across the box top where it had been perched. Thank goodness for latex gloves-- I squashed it with my thumb with a pang of regret. It's certainly exotic, isn't it? Anyone have an ideer what this is?


Addendum: Uh, this is a male or a juvenile black widow. er, it was. Crap. That means there's probably a momma around here some place. I'm so bug-bombing the house this week. Ew.
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Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunday, Puppy Sunday: Beefcakery.

This morning, momma broke with protocol and let the very snuggly velvet boy up onto her yummy-posh Sferra* sheets for a snuggle fest. Ever the tart, Chuy flipped lithely on his back to grovel for tummy scratches. He wrinkled at me, and I just had to comply.
*If you are vigilant, you can get bargain basement prices on Sferra sheets at Tuesday Morning. By bargain basement, I mean a normally $600 set of sheets for a full size bed will be about $140. I kept my eyes peeled for this set for about a year and a half-- full size is not common to find-- you'll be more in luck with queen- or king-size if you're seeking Sferra at TM. With proper care, they will last you for years and years, and they feel gloriously sumptuous. I sleep better on these. [no, not princess-and-the-pea, Holly.] At the end of a really rough day, it can be so lovely to take a cool shower and slip into these. As corny as it sounds, it makes a massive difference for a good night's sleep.
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Sunday, Puffy Sunday...

...wherein your humble narrator alters the Sunday theme ever-so-slightly.


When I think of beaver, I think of, well, places like Canada and points generally northward. I didn't know we had them around here.

Driving home from town with friends this afternoon, we all simultaneously expressed surprise at the beaver on the side of the road. I asked the driver if we could make the block and swing back around so I could snap a pic. Got out to look and it was a marvel.


Here's a photo. I think it must have been about a 50 pounder, bloating aside. You can see it's quite large next to the rather large human foot at the left of the image.


Back on the road after the beav's big close-up, one friend got a call from his wife and they talked for a couple minutes, and he said "we had to take a five minute detour because we wanted to get a better look at a fat, furry puffy beaver." She laughed maniacally and didn't ask for details. I think she must get all manner of oddities from this character, but based on her reaction, I'd say he married quite well.
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Saturday, September 19, 2009
For Halloween, may we suggest...









Here at the Phlegm Propulsion Laboratories™, we're working night and day to bring you the very best in shopping. We've told you about bacon flavored dental floss, the bumper dumper and who could forget all those wonderful shoes? In that vein, I come to you today with seriously considered, sober suggestions for your holiday attire. Well, if you're like most of the demented people I know who dress up for Halloween, you've been vexing for a while about precisely what gay apparel will don you then.

Vex no longer, darlings! I have the answer right here: latex wigs.

I'll let that sink in for a moment.

You may select this insouciant blonde flip-do. Very chic if you've the right coloring for it.

Though the bouffant-action could do with a bit more loft, we greatly admire the Hawaii-Five-OH! Book 'im, Danno!

I must admit great personal bias in favour of the Elvis 'do. Bonus points for the glasses. Come to that, the glasses alone are worth their weight in hours of good, clean fun year 'round. I know I'm getting mine!
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Friday, September 18, 2009
Lurching, grinding calliope magic...
Aha is my favorite track from the new Imogen Heap cd. If you like very atmospheric music, then I heartily recommend buying the cd or mp3 with the bonus instrumental tracks. In truth, I popped it into my player and have listened to it more than the verbose version. It's lovely stuff, and it's been marvelous music to paint a house by.

Someone cobbled together this video to Aha.

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Thursday, September 17, 2009
Autumn breezes in...
It has been gloriously, refreshingly cool lately. I love when the season changes. So often in Texas we barely get a blip of a winter so the cool weather this early in the year is hopefully a harbinger of, oh, I dunno, perhaps something which might be actually described as a season other than bloody hot.



Anyway, it's rather sweet that as the summer wanes we can sit back and watch bemusedly as one ACORN tumbles earthward, its rotten fruit now suddenly unsupportable when exposed to the light of day. Dance with the one wot brung ya, they say. If you carried the water for ACORN you may as well own it, because everyone knows you stink on ice anyway. The shoe fits, and all that stuff.

Remember the bailouts and how a forced "gift" to ACORN was cobbled onto the deal by the legislators who bunged up the whole housing thing in the first place? More stinks-on-ice high-jinks.

Let 'em dangle.
****************************
Bug Tussle Dry Cleaning and Chainsaw Repair:

Out here they have Real Cowboys. Apparently when they have jeans laundered at the cleaners, they like a lot of starch in. I got some new jeans last time I was in Dallas, and I finally took them to a dry cleaner in town to have the legs, uh, shortened slightly. Filling out the slip, the lady said "starch?" I said "no. In fact, don't dry clean these. Just launder them. No pressing."

Picked them up last week and wore them Wednesday. Guess what? Starch. Starch out the gills. These jeans are so starched-up that they could stand on their ownsome. Add to that the label inside is all starched, folded wonky and pokey in very irritating ways.
*harumph*
***************************
Long walk a few nights ago I got to meet the local shit-stirring eccentric with the inflammatory website and all. He knows where all the bodies are buried, but keeps folks guessing by couching the tidbits amongst deep, murky layers of pickled red herrings. Interesting, though.

I was told before coming here that I'd have some serious work to do if I aspired to be the town weirdo. Looks like they wuz right. Still, it's good to have goals.

heh.
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
ACORN made bank on the bailout.
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We Were Promised JetPacks


I love just knowing there's a band called We Were Promised JetPacks. Yet more clever Glaswegians.

More about We Were Promised JetPacks on MySpace.

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Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Call me a cockeyed optimist, but...

...I think it's going to be a good day when I've swabbed Kilz on the entire laundry room ceiling, most of the kitchen ceiling and lacquered my nails all before breakfast.



Midnight addendum: it was a good day!
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Unctuous American
Patrick Swayze was hilarious as a seedy American golf instructor in Rowan Atkinson's Keeping Mum.



You know someone is an icon of cinema when they are treated reverentially in Hot Fuzz.

Then there was Road House: a tough bouncer is hired to tame a dirty bar.

He had a pretty good run of it, I think.
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Monday, September 14, 2009
1.5 to 2 million people...
had a little party this weekend for all the right reasons. That's the kind of change that makes one dare to hope.



Bless 'em, every one.
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Sunday, September 13, 2009
Sunday, Puppy Sunday: She flies through the air

With the greatest of ease.


My little maniac girl with her orange ball.


*WHEEEEEEEE!*
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Saturday, September 12, 2009
...from the email:
> Sorry for the short notice, but I have four extra tickets for the> Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) Event at the Texas> State Fair Grounds this weekend in Dallas, if anybody wants> them.> > Robbie is going to try to jump over 1,000 Obama supporters> with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.> > > Should be a good time.
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Friday, September 11, 2009
want THIS:


Love Returns Necklace








Available on here Etsy.


I have these earrings, and they are exquisite. They are laser cut black acrylic, and super-lightweight. Stunning.
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Thursday, September 10, 2009
One that satisfies...
my artistic needs.



Funny how un-puNk Sid & Nancy is in French, c'est vrai, oui?

Still, my dad reads my blog and this scene has the c-word, and I'd like to keep him innocent, so here's to losing things in translation.
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Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Through a windscreen, buggily:



One of the cool things about going for a drive of a weekend in Texas is every so often, you'll see something like this Jordan Almond Mint green Ford pickup.

I've always been partial to a Chevy, but this is one Ford I'd deign to drive. What a beauty!
Hopefully you can get an idea of the grandeur of this truck despite the bug-smeared windscreen. Apparently I drove through a plague of gutty bugs sometime recently. Ew.
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Tuesday, September 08, 2009
To a sweet darling boy...



Happy birthday!
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No more kings.

What a capital idea.
May it be thus.
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Monday, September 07, 2009
A Grand Day Out
Saturday I had bidness to attend in Decatur, so it was a lovely excuse to meet my dear friend Holly on the square at Sweetie Pie's Ribeyes. The Decatur Courthouse can be seen for miles and miles, and I found a spot on the square to park right next to Hols' fab convertible in front of one of the local shops.

Sweetie Pie's has chicken fried ribeye steaks. Om nom nom. Their gravy is a lot like my Gramma Bertie's, too, so that's mighty high praise. A large group came in and was seated at the table next to ours and the gentleman next to Holly started a conversation and we proceeded to cut up with him on and off as we ate our lunch. At one point, he said to Holly "I know you can cook, but [looking at me] you, can you cook?" He held his hands up all dainty-like, as if he didn't want to get them dirty. I said "I'm a superb cook. Why would you say that?" And Holly enthused "she is an excellent cook" and he said "well, you just look like you expect someone else to cook for you." I was gobsmacked. I LOVE getting my hands into dough or getting them covered in yummy garlicky smells or just messing around, preparing food. I revel in that. Later on I remarked a bit indignantly to Holly that he should have said such a thing, and Holly took what was obviously great delight in saying "well, you ARE a princess," and then she nearly laughed her head off.

Well.



Anyhoo, we went to all the local shops and we saw some lovely bracelets with lots of sparklies on, and I cooed over them a bit, but decided to behave. Then whaddayaknow if Holly didn't turn around a buy a lovely raft of them for me. I was squeeing! She said she'd never seen anyone get so excited over a little thing like that, but I think they're awfully pretty. :) Thanks, Hols! I've worn them every day since. :)






As the afternoon waned, all sorts of classic cars started arriving and backing into the parking spaces around the square. Nearly every small town with a classic courthouse (100+ years old) in Texas will have a classic car rally at some point in the year. They back into the spots and put their hoods up for passersby to admire. There's a festival atmosphere and very often a dance on Saturday evening on such weekends. It's really a quite grand tradition. Since we got there early, the square wasn't coned-off to newer models, so here's Miss LouLou's pert rear end making the only appearance she'll ever make at a classic car rally. The show started about 4pm, and we cleared out about 15 til, relinquishing our spaces to grand beauties from the great American automotive age.


Driving home I watched this rain cone for about an hour before I crossed the wet roadway in its wake. It was massive and breathtaking. I've seen those alot out here. Good stuff.


All in all, it was a grand day out. :)
Happy Labor Day, y'all!
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Sunday, September 06, 2009
Sunday, Puppy Sunday: Cutest pencil sharpener EVAR!

Throw the ball. Throw it naow.
Intensity con carne.











This is the cutest pencil sharpener ever. As you turn the pencil, the little puppehs wiggle around and get their breakast noms. KEWT!
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Saturday, September 05, 2009
My blood is boiling.
A newspaper decided to print a photo of a mortally wounded young Marine in Afghanistan. Emboldened, many other newspapers took up that ball and ran with it.

The Wheeling, W.Va., Intelligencer ran the photo inside and an editorial explaining why it did "after hours of debate."


They defended their choice thusly:

"Too often, we fear, some Americans see only the statistics, the casualty counts released by the Department of Defense," the newspaper wrote. "We believe it is important for all of us to understand that behind the numbers are real men and women, sometimes making the ultimate sacrifice, for us."



No matter how how preoccupied or stressed out or caught up in my personal moment, no day passes in which I don't think of our uniformed men and women at home and abroad and thank God for their service and for the service of those who have come before. We are indebted to them. I am sick of the arrogance of the folks at newspapers and news networks who think they are the only ones who get it, that they are the only ones with a sense of gravity about what is going on in the world and what our men and women in uniform face on our behalf.


How shameful for a news organization to be so disrespectful as to publish this photo in defiance of the wishes of the family of the young man therein.

No, in fact. They don't get it at all. Call me cynical, but I think this is a ploy to diffuse and de-fuse the rancor many are voicing for what our legislators have been doing at home. Doubly shameful, I think.

This is why readership of newspapers is plummeting.

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Farting in the library.
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Friday, September 04, 2009
Have I got shoes for you...



If you like heels but find most of them insufferable to wear, you may want to try some from Sofft, like these luscious patent leather babies. I confess I want a pair in every color, but I may just settle for one. These shoes are engineered for comfort, they support well without feeling orthopaedic, and they look amazingly cute in the process-- no small feat for heels. I've a couple pair of Sofft I felt were well worth the investment at $100, so these for 69.90 are quite the bargain, imho. I've been wearing both pair of my Sofft tango heels for about 3 years now. That's a fair bit of staying power, considering what staples they've been of my shoe wardrobe.








Then there's these little deadlies from Nanette Lepore. Even at the super cut-rate price of $232.90, I confess they are not in my price range these days. Ah, but to know such shoes exist!
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Thursday, September 03, 2009
Keep your kids home September 8.
Adolf Hitler Quotes:
"He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future."
“When an opponent declares, "I will not come over to your side," I calmly say, "Your child belongs to us already... What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community.”

Guess who will be addressing our nation's children in public schools on September 8th?

Better option: home schooling.
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Busier than a one-armed paper-hanger...

I've been painting inside the house every day, and it's coming along.


Something special is brewing and I hope to have news very soon.


Puppehs are fine as frogs and hares and bring soft, bouncy joy to every day of my life.


One more bit of good news is they are having a sale over at mypetchicken.com. I wish I could have chickens, but teh puppehs would do to baby chickens what they do to my poor, innocent socks. Longer post tomorrow. :)
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Wednesday, September 02, 2009
More from the "this will make you grin" department:

I totally want a tractor now. :P
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Tuesday, September 01, 2009
daily commute.

The crispness in the air has been wondrously lovely, of late. The sun made a great blushing show of rising on Monday morning, and I had a great day at work. I kept my energy up, slurped down my iced tea as I answered lots of calls from customers. One lady said very nice things and asked to speak to my supervisor to commend me on a job well done. That was heartening, and I really didn't see it coming. Then I found out that I've advanced through the second of 5 steps. I was surprised, really. You can get used to feeling like you're not doing well at something. The courtesy thing comes naturally. The part I find challenging is the labyrinthine body of info I have to stand at the ready to regurgitate to customers. I'm getting better, but I've had moments I thought I never would. Last week was like a whole week of Mondays. This monday felt more like a Thursday. :P
Would you believe I haven't caught a single fish this year, in a legal sense? One of Tole's kids asked me to hold their fishing pole for a second, and that was the instant a little perch decided to leap on their hook. I harbour no delusions-- I didn't catch that fish. Well, the hunting/fishing license in Texas goes from Sept 1 - Aug 31. Went fishing Monday night and the only bites I got were where the bug spray missed. So there-- my first year with an actual fishing license and I didn't catch a one. *shrug* So they call it fishing and not catching, eh? I get it.
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Name: Phlegmfatale
Location: Elsewhere, Texas, USA

I'm not whining;
I'm unburdening.
FATALE ABSTRACTION


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